I'M HOLDING ON FOR THIS.

I'm holding on because God says he has plans to prosper me and not harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future.
I'm holding on because LOVE IS PATIENT.
I'm holding on because God knows the deepest desires of my heart and promises to fulfill them. My deepest desires to be loved wholly have and will continue to be met...but here's the kicker. Here's where I just keep hitting that brick wall--I want to be loved wholly by a man. I want to feel strong arms wrapped around me each night when I fall asleep...I dream about that more than anything else. I'm not saying thats not possible but I can't promise my heart that that will for sure be my reality. God doesn't promise strong arms wrapped around me when I fall asleep. He promises He will never let me go, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that what I think about more is my husband one day saying that to me. I can count on my hand the number of times that I've really felt like that would happen for sure. The number of times I've melted at the possibility of not is far greater. I'm in one of those moments. It seems as if every one of my freinds has someone special and well I, for a handful of reasons, am alone right now.
The truth is, I don't care about being different from everyone else in that, but I feel like I've got no one to relate to now. The only person I'm really close to anymore is my dad and shit he's divorced. I've got enough reasons to feel absolutely hopeless. What I don't want is to chase after a boy to get rid of this feeling. I want to tackle it! I want to been content single, but not forever.
Haha its a bit of a mess. I guess most people know that by now. Love always seems catch us by surprise in the best and worst ways! In all reality, it is kind of epic. It is why we are here. So, well what I'm gonna do is wake up tomorrow and ask God to wrap his big arms around me and open my heart to all the beauty around me presently. Thats all I can do. As for the rest of my life...only God knows.